Working On a New Play

This week I am not going to be about much as I am involved with the LA premier of "Slipping" by Rattlestick Theater from New York. If you are in LA swing by and see "Slipping" at the Elephant Theater on Santa Monica Blvd. Cool Space. The building is fabled to have once been Harold Lloyd's old silent film studio. Great show (if it wasn't I'd never mention it) and a cool space worth seeing if you can.

Please Let Justin Beiber Become Tony DeFranco

Does anyone really remember Tony DeFranco? Of course they don't. No one has been singing "It's a Heartbeat It's a Love Beat" for over 40 years or so. Let's hope Justin Beiber becomes the next Canadian to have the staying power of Tony DeFranco. Teen Heart throbs have gone before and lets just hope Herr Bieber goes the way of Tony DeFranco and maybe becomes a realtor or maybe a record store owner. Save your money dude. Get a weed card and just politely disappear as did so many before you. The cops know where you live and apparently your neighbors hate you. and as soon as your fans get their periods they will too.
Justin learn something or you could be the next Leif Garrett and hope to get arrested on the Hollywood Redline. Have you read about Lindsay Lohan? She had a cool career and now she could be suspected of spitting on her neighbors too.
Justine you gotta kick the rappers that no one has heard of out and realize that you are are a big ole white Canadian and not a bad ass rapper. Girls are getting older and breats; soon will never admit they liked you.
Do you want to become Tony DeFranco? No? Go see some real bands, listen to the Ramones and grow a real pair.

Shopping for Freaks

Are you a freak? Normally that is a rude question but if you are a freak and you know you are and admit it; there is a store for you. If you are a real freak you already know about it but if you are a closet freak you might not know about Obscura. Obscura is a shop in the East Village of Manhattan and has its own TV show called "Oddities" on the Science Channel.
Do you need a mummified something or other or maybe a demonic whatnot? Mike Zohn and Evan Michelson might be able to help you out. Maybe you have an evil clown or maybe a two headed pig you would like to get rid of; they might just take it off you hands. So you need to get yourself down to 207 Ave. A in the East Village and check this joint out. If for some reason you don't find yourself below 13th St in Manhattan very often you can check out their show on TV.
The television show itself is a total laugh riot and filled with freaks and kooks who so know how freaky and kooky they are. many of the people appearing on the show are performers and side show freaks. The staff of Obscura obviously love them and cultivate a coterie of kooks. The shop is a hot spot of the off beat and it sells things no one needs but they want. I guess someone might need the things they sell but that is a special kind of shopper.
The show is a lot of fun to watch and is presented in a tongue in cheek manner that it not at all insulting to the people they encounter but it rather regals their clientele. The people who come onto the show know stuff you probably don't know and make you want to hear what they have to say. Some of their customers are off putting but when you listen to them they really shine. There is a very Punk Rock esthetic to the place, staff and clientele.
So get your freaky ass self down to the East Village and check them out or watch the show on The Science Channel.

The Tubes

One of the most under rated and forgotten bands to come of the 1970's is The Tubes. Formed in San Francisco in 1972 by the melding of two bands originally from Arizona The Tubes were know for their over the top live performances. Original members are Fee Waybill, Sputnik Spooner, Praire Prince, Michael Cotton, Vince Wilnick and Rick Anderson. They were often joined on stage with Re Styles and Mingo Lewis. The Tubes put out seven records none of which charted highly but have a huge following and devoted fans.
The "White Punks on Dope" is probably their most recognizable song having been covered by Motley Crue and Nina Hagen. They also recorded "Don't Touch Me There" an over the top and suggestive "wall of sound" classic. Over the years they have many members and line ups and worked with influential producers, people like Jane Dornacker, Todd Rundgren, Bob Dylan and Randy Mantouth.
The Tubes were the best when seen live on stage. Their shows were elaborate and expensive incorporating film, acrobats and tap dancers. The Tubes although no longer officially a band do play together from time to time and if the chance arises they are worth checking out.

Posh Parts Ways With Spice Girls

The Spice Girls remember them? Well it seems Victoria Posh Beckahm doesn't want to and will no longer be a Spice Girl. Sad news for music lovers right? Victoria has decided she is no longer going to perform. The Spice Girls are set to reform after a long and needed hiatus. Posh has a very successful career in fashion and pouting now. Scary, Sporty, Baby and Ginger are all on their own now and wat they want, waht they really really want is a replacement. So if you are a girl and you are spicey this could be the chance for you! You could be the next Posh!

Dodge Ball Banned

The town of Windham, New Hampshire' s school district has banned the gym game of dodge ball. The small southern New Hampshire town's school board decided to remove dodge ball as well as several other human target games from their curriculum to alleviate bullying.
Dodge ball is one of the cruelest of all playground games and it should be banned. The idea of human targets is fairly mean on its own but the game also targets slow kids, fat kids and acts as a way for aggressive bullies to get away with it and be lauded for their actions.
"We spend a lot of time making sure our kids are violence free," Windham superintendent Dr. Henry LaBranche said. "Here we have games where we use children as targets. That seems to be counter to what we are trying to accomplish with our anti-bullying campaign."
Games like this don't actually give kids exercise it give them anxiety and a lot of time watching other kids play. It is the exercise that is important not the winning and losing. Yes win and losing is part of life and kids need to learn to lose but they don't need to learn winning by picking off other kids one by one.

Pre-Movie Silent Movie Still

The Unluckiest Guy in the World.

Jose Martinez is a disable man and was visiting Disneyland when a terrible thing happened to him. He got on the ride "It's a Small World". It gets worse. The ride broke down and everyone but the disabled Martinez, who needs a wheelchair to get around, was evacuated from the nonfunctional ride. Okay it gets worse, he was on the ride waiting to be evacuated for three hours. But it get even more hellish, the song "It's a Small World" played the whole time.
Naturally Mr. Martinez sued Disney for his treatment. He did win. This is where I feel really bad for him. He received $8,000. Yes $8,000. I'm sorry that's bupkis for the pain and suffering he had to endure. He not only had to listen to one of the most insipid and insidious songs for three hours straight, he also needed to pee.
Personally it would take $8,000 to get me to even get on the ride. Three hours and he had to pee and all he gets is $8,000 he was rooked! What kind of lawyer did he have? Where is Gloria Albright when you need her? She's have gotten millions, movie rights and a Depends commercial gig!

She was the Definition of Feisty

She was the feistiest of the feisty old ladies! Judith Lowry played old ladies because she was one one. Her most memorable role was that of Mother Dexter on the 70's sitcom "Phyllis". Lowry was the voice of reason to Cloris Leachman's Phyllis threatening to break Phyliss' knees at times with a baseball bat.
Born 1890 Lowry was an actress who played smaller roles but gave up her career to raise her children until the 1940's when she went back to work. She started out doing small old lady roles and eventually became a sitcom star in her 80's. Lowry appeared in films as well as television. She was in "Valley of the Dolls" and "Cold Turkey" as well as appearing on Broadway in "The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds"
Her last role was that of Mother Dexter on "Phyllis" and her last appearence was in the episode "Mother Dexter's Wedding" where her character married actor Burt Mustin's characeter. It was the last television appearence for both actors as they died after filming. Judith Lowry died in 1976 at the age of 86 just before her wedding episode aired.

Iconic TV

Five TV icons are reuniting on an upcoming episode of TV Land's "Hot in Cleveland". The icons are Mary Tyler Moore, Cloris Leachman, Georgia Engle, Betty White and Valerie Harper! Yes the women of the Mary Tyler Moore show will reunite and it is sure to be a huge hit. This may well be the last time these women will be seen together as Valerie Harper has been diagnosed with a terminal condition.
The plot of the episode revolves around a bowling team being reunited and the power cast are them members of the team. Whomever at "Hot in Cleveland" dreamed up this casting deserves an award!

31st in Line

Prince Edward the Duke of Kent had what Buckingham Palace called a mild stoke. Who is the Duke of Kent you may ask. Well he is the Queen's first cousin and he is 31st in line to the British throne. He is a prince because his father was a prince. Edward's grandfather was King George V. The Duke is Queen Elizabeth's first cousin and that makes him important in the British Royal family. This doesn't make him important anywhere else. I'm sure he is a very nice old man and deserves good thoughts.
Prince Edward's position in the royal family may not be important but he does make one realize this is just a family. The Queen got a phone call telling her that her cousin Edward had a stroke. Unless the Queen is a heartless old cow she was concerned. He is one of her last cousins left. These people aren't only royalty they are just a rich family. I'm sure Elizabeth has memories of Edward from when they were just kids doing kid stuff at their grandfather's palace. They were once both just kids; granted they were uber rich kids but they were still just kids. Kids aren't royal and they aren't rich they are just kids. Edward and Elizabeth or shall we call the Eddie and Lizzie were just stupid kids doing stupid kid junk and getting in trouble. Then look what happened to them. They found out who they were related to and what they were supposed to do. Kinda sucky isn't it. At least the gig comes with some perks and virtual buttload of cash and kowtowing.
So godspeed Prince Edward, Duke of Kent.

The Specials at the Nokia

I got invited to see the ultimate Ska band the other night. I went to see the Specials at the Nokia Theater in Los Angeles. To be 100% honest I really only saw about 7 or 8% of the show live. I watched what I saw of the show on monitors in the VIP lounge. Frankly, I think the people on the floor had the best experience. We could watch the show live from some seats looking down onto the show and the floor. They just seemed to Theater-y for us. The Specials really are a great bar band. As a show band they're kinda whatever. They should been seen from the floor and in a "joint" not the theater the Grammys are doled out.
Here's my next beef: The ticket price was $75 and then a beer was $14. Come on let's just ream everyone shall we! It seems the only people seeing The Specials in LA were members of the upper middle class or comped rock writers. I truly think The Specials would be better in a smaller club playing for maybe 3 or 4 nights. They'd make the same money and maybe build a younger and vibrant fan base.
Am I glad I "heard" them live, yes. They totally rocked and the band was nice. Its not like I spent a lot of time with them but the minute or two I was in there sphere; I found them to be nice guys.

Happy Nowruz

Today is Nowruz! The first day of spring is the Persian new year day or Nowruz. In Persian tradition the first day of the new year is the first day of spring. Rather sensible in a lot of ways. There are many traditions attached to Nowruz and most of them are pretty fun. One of the most important is cleaning. Your home should be completely clean for Nowruz because the the next tradition is visiting. People visit each other on Nowruz. These are usually just short visits between family members and close friends. Traditions say you should visit your elders first and then your other friends and family. There are of course foods involved with the day as well. Your table should have a table with items laid out some are foods and some are symbols.  Light snacks are offered to your visitors as they have to more onto more visits and will be expecting visitors themselves. Then there is the really fun tradition of jumping over fire. This isn't as tough as it sounds. Sure if you are athletic you can jump over a bonfire but if you aren't a candle still counts.
Nowruz is an ancient holiday dating from as early as 550 BC. There are many stories of how it came about but it is believed to have been developed around the the time of the first Zoroastrian calendar.
So go clean your house and visit a good friend!

I'm Drunk, I'm Drunk, I'm Drunk

Goth rock star Peter Murphy was arrested in Los Angeles for drunk driving and leaving the scene of an accident. the Bauhaus lead singer is being held in jail after he was said to be involved in an accident where he rear ended a Mercedes in Glendale and then drove off in a Subaru Forester. Murphy was detained and described as very confused by LAPD until the Glendale Police arrived. Murphy was held in the back of an LAPD patrol car where a small plastic bag thought to contain meth was found. Murphy claimed the bag was not his but officers claim he was trying to discard it in the vehicle.
Murphy was arrested on suspicion of causing injuries while driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, felony hit-and-run and possessing methamphetamine, police said. He is being held in lieu of bail as it is felt that he is a flight risk.

Good Bye Frank Thornton

Captain Peacock is no longer free. Comic actor Frank Thornton has died in his sleep at age 92. The role Frank Thornton was most famous for was that of the floor-walker Captain Stephen Peacock on the long running Britcom "Are You Being Served?" He was the last member cast to be alive. Frank Thornton went on the epic running "Last of the Summer Wine" where he played Truly of the Yard for the last several years of the comedy's 37 year run.
Frank Thornton is survied by Beryl his wife of 67 years.

"My Name is Clark Rockefeller" or Is It?

Does the name make the man or vice versa? What is identity? These are all questions that come up when the name Clark Rockefeller is mentioned. Clark Rockefeller it turns out is really Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter. He is a man with many names and many pasts almost all of them false. He has called himself Clark Rockefeller, Chris Chichester, Chris C. Crowe, Charles Smith and Chip Smith this is known by authorities.
Mr. Gerhartsreiter was arrested in Maryland for the kidnapping of his daughter "Snooks" after he abducted her from a social worker supervised visit in Boston's tony Back Bay neighborhood. He been married to Snooks' mother, a high powered finance executive, but she began to see cracks in his story and after a little work by a private detective who uncovered inconsistencies in stories they divorced. Rockefeller grabbed Snooks threw her into an SUV and disappeared into Boston traffic. It was 8 days later that Snooks was discovered in an apartment in Baltimore and Rockefeller was arrested at a nearby marina where he kept an aging catamaran under the name of Chip Smith. This is when all of Gerhartsrieter's stories started to unravel.
Alexander Gerhartsreiter of Bergen Germany then came forward and announced that Clark Rockefeller was his younger brother Christian. He was a German exchange student when he came to the US and decided to stay. He married a woman in Madison, Wisconsin for a green card. The day after their wedding Gerhartsreiter took off.
His next appearance was in San Marino California using the name Christopher Chichester. He was living in the guest house of a couple named Sohus. During his time living there the Mr. and Mrs. Sohus disappeared and when questioned Gerhartsreiter claimed they had gone to Europe on a vacation. He then disappeared in a pick up truck owned by the couple.
His next appearance was in Greenwich, Connecticut where he was pulled over driving the Sohus' truck. The every slippery Gerhartsreiter eluded the police once again.
In 1995 Gerhartsreiter was now using the name Clark Rockefeller and passing himself off to the blue bloods of New England as a member of the famed family. He met, wooed and wed Sandra Boss. They moved to New Hampshire where the couple lived in a home owned by Boss. She was also the breadwinner of the family. His house of cards came crashing down in 2007. Boss divorced her husband and got custody of their child. She moved to London with the child who only could she her father accompanied by a social worker.

After his arrest in Maryland Gerhartsreiter was diagnosed with a mixed personality disorder with narcissistic and anti-social traits.  During his sessions with psychiatrists he disclosed that Snooks was communicating with him telepathically.
Gerhartsreiter was convicted of kidnapping and is now being tried for the murders of the Mr. and Mrs. Sohus after their bones were discovered in the backyard of the California home.

Holly Woodlawn vs. NARS

NARS Comsmetics the cosmetic company of the stars and wannbe stars has pissed off Holly Woodlawn. They made a slight error in judgement and she made them pay! NARS put out a line of make-up named after Warhol superstars but neglected to get permission to use names. It seems they have a lip gloss shade called Holly Woodlawn and they didn't ask her permission to use her name. Well that didn't sit right with Miss Woodlawn. "I guess they thought I am dead" said Holly to me one afternoon. It wasn't only the fact that they didn't ask her permission the shade was not to Holly's liking. "I've never worn lip gloss in my life! I wear matte lipstick!"

Holly contacted her lawyer and well lets just say NARS has had to pony up. Holly is now less angry and a bit more flush. She still doesn't care for the shade but is getting over it. "My real lipsick is called cocksucker red." said Miss Woodlawn.

Shane MacGowan Isn't Dead?

It is amazing but it is true Shane MacGowan is still alive! If anyone should be dead it is Shane MacGowan not because he is a bad person but because he has lived life well over the top. If there is a drug Shane has used it and abused it. Sinead O'Connor, not the usual voice of reason, turned him into the cops for heroin use! He claims to having started drinking at age 4 and was drinking whiskey at 10. His antics both on and off stage are legendary. He once stopped singing on stage and vomited on to the people in the front of the house. That's punk rock!
He is known to only perform drunk and his interviews are usually incoherent. But some how he soliders on. His band the Pouges kicked him out for a while because of his behavior. But he still wakes up everyday. The luck of the Irish?

St. Patrick's Drunks

I hate hate hate hate hate St. Patrick's Day! I am sure he was a very nice man and did some lovely things but his celebrants are idiots! I really don't think wearing green glitter paint on your face and puking in gutters was the original intention of this celebration but it has morphed into a night for fools and pests! Big green cowboy hats and foam fingers don't really say Erin Go Braugh do they?
If you are going to celebrate please do so in a lovely tweed and a pair of sensible Broughs it is ever so much more Irish. If you really want to be Irish just stay home and tell your relatives to "Feck Off".

Turning the Red Light Off

Louise and Martine Fokkens Amsterdam's oldest working prostitutes have decided to retire. The twin sisters have been working prostitutes in Amsterdam's Red Light District for over 50 years. The sisters are the subjects of a documentary titled "Meet the Fokkens" have decided they are just too old to ply their trade. They have found it hard to attract customers at age 70.  They say they are just working now to pay taxes and it just isn't worth it anymore. They are hoping to make some money off book and film deals.
Goede Nacht Marine and Louise!

Sizemore Smackdown

Famous tough guy-cum-drug addict actor Tom Sizemore has had and other run in with the law. This time however he was not the batterer but the battered. LAPD were called to Sizemore's downtown LA home as the actor needed their help. A man came to the Sizemore residence pretending to have a gun and got the tough guy actor into a head lock before making off with expensive guitars. Sizemore was reportedly involved with the other gentleman's girlfriend. Poor Tom!

The Pornographer's Daughter

Liberty Bradford Mitchell has a story to tell and its a wild one. Liberty tells her story on stage in her one woman or so show "The Pornographer's Daughter". The gist of the show is her dad was Artie Mitchell one of the infamous Mitchell Brothers.  Liberty grew up surrounded by the porn industry like it or not. She often didn't like it but she has been able to recognize that her past has made her who she is today.
The story of the Mitchell Brothers is the story of the sexual revolution. They started off making short nudie films but realized there was a void and they filled it. Their ground breaking movie "Behind the Green Door" changed the way pornography was perceived; to a point. These guys had lots of nerve and entered their film into the Cannes Film Festival and it was accepted.
During this time Artie Mitchell was married and had three kids with his Ivy league Boston Brahmin wife. Their oldest child was Liberty. Life with the Mitchell's was not like that of their neighbors in the suburbs. Booze, drugs and sex were just part of the business of being a Mitchell brother. These are also the same things that eventually had detrimental effects on the Mitchell Brothers' family. Liberty's parents eventually divorced and Liberty came to realize that life was not "Little House on the Prairie". The teenage years reinforced her feelings of being an outsider and she started using her mother's surname to hide the fact she was a Mitchell from the kids at school. She further removed herself from the family by going to a prep school on the east coast.
When it was time to go to college Liberty returned to California and to the Mitchell family fold. Times and the business at the Mitchell Brothers' O'Farrell Theater had changed. Drinking and drugs had taken their toll on the brothers' lives. There was paranoia and gold digging surrounding them. This eventually came to a tragic and shocking end. Jim Mitchell shot and killed his younger Artie.
This was not the end of Liberty's story. She and her family had to face a trial and the relentless press coverage. Behind all of the melodrama was a family shattered and feelings of hatred and betrayal.
Liberty tells her story with the assistance of a band "The Fluffers" and  archival film projections. "The Pornographer's Daughter" is a multi-media experience that allows the viewer a look behind the Mitchell's door.

I'll Take Paul Lynde to Block

One of the most iconic American game show is "Hollywood Squares".  Anyone could play and win the format was the simple Tic Tac Toe game with a celebrity twist. The large square set with it's nine cubicles and spiral staircases is the ultimate in simplicity. Each square held a celebrity and contestants either agreed or disagreed with them. Mr X and Miss Circle picked celebrities and host Peter Marshall would ask a question. The celebrity than answered and it was the contestants job to decide if they were right or wrong. The celebrities were often given the questions before hand so they could come up with witty bon mots or have the shows writers supply them with something funny. Many of the celebrity guests were know for their fast thinking humor and supplied their own retorts. Paul Lynde, the center square, was a master of the fast and funny double entendre. Over the show's 15 year intital run there were many regular celebrities such as Rose Marie who answered questions about romance or lack there of, Charlie Weaver who answered history questions, George Goeble who was often asked questions about being old and Charo who's questions were about her mangling of English.
Hollywood Square ran from 1966 to 1981 with Peter Marshall as the host and to tbe fair there were later incarnations with different hosts but the original was always the best.

Peter Marshall: Paul, Why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because Chiffon wrinkles so easily.

"Its Fun for a Girl and a Boy"

One of the simplest and most popular toys is the "Slinky". Who doesn't love a Slinky? They walk down stairs, they always pop right back into shape and they are just plain fun.
Richard James a mechanical engineer discovered the Slinky while working with springs for the Navy in 1943. He accidentally knocked one of his springs over and it walked. He knew he was onto something it wasn't going to help the project he was working on but he knew it had the possibility of being a really fun toy. He experimented with different types of metal and spring designs until he came up with the version we all know today. He showed it to his wife Betty who was doubtful.  Mr. James showed the toy to some neighborhood children who loved it and well Betty was convinced. The couple got a loan for $500 and formed James Industries making 400 Slinky toys at a local machine shop. They packaged them at home then went about trying to sell them. In 1945 they convinced Gimbles department store to set up a slanted board in their Philadelphia toy department. The original 400 Slinky Toys sold out in 90 minutes!
Betty James came up with the name Slinky looking through a dictionary and it was her insistence that the toy be priced at $1. The toy sold well in the first 2 years over 100 million Slinkys. Richard and Betty James divorced in 1960. Betty stayed on running the company and Richard became a missionary. The toy was produced by James Industries until 1998 when Betty sold the company and the Slinky to a company called Poof Products.
The Slinky is still popular to this day because it really is fun for a girl and a boy.

The Keane Eyes

They are iconic paintings often ridiculed and hated but they are some of the best known images of the late 50's the Keane paintings. Were they created by Walter Keane as he contended until his death or by his ex-wife Margaret? There is much debate over who exactly created the works. Walter Keane claims he did and was inspired by the waifs of post war Europe. Margaret on the other hand claims it was she her created them and challenged her ex-husband in court eventually winning a multi-million dollar settlement.

The paintings themselves have been reproduced and the style copied all around the world. Large sad eyes staring out at the viewer extracting either pity or scorn. Are they the ultimate in kitsch or fine art who is to say? Love them or hate them you do know them.
Was Margaret Keane locked in a room painting her sad eyed girls while her husband took the credit? He (Walter) said no he did indeed paint them as well as Margaret. What he did do is market them and that he did very well the paintings took off in the late 50's and early 60's becoming wildly popular. Margaret on the other hand claimed it was she who did the painting and challenged her by this time ex-husband to several "Paint Offs" which Walter never appeared. It wasn't until the court room show down where Margaret painted a painting in under an hour and Walter claimed he could not because of a painful shoulder that Margaret seems to have won her case and her place in art history.

Sure the paintings are camp and collectible but they have also inspired scores of knock offs and tributes. The 1990's animated "The Powderpuff Girls" being one example. The paintings are also very collectible and have a large celebrity following. One of those collectors is film maker Tim Burton. Burton is said to be making a film about Margaret starring Reese Witherspoon titled "Big Eyes".
Walter Keane died several years ago never giving up his claim to be the painter. Margaret Keane is still alive and living in Napa painting wide eyed faces.

alles Gute zum Gebutstag Nina Hagen

Today is Nina Hagen birthday! Ms. Hagen is 57 years old and still a punk. Born in what was then East Germany she finangled her way to the west and became one of Germany's biggest punk stars. Nina Hagen may have made more than one punk rock boy learn to speak German just so they could understand her lyrics as well as rock to her sound. Classic training in opera has given her a voice and range that can frighten and electrify. If you have heard her voice you know what I mean. So today to honor her and her work listen to "Auf'm Bahnhof Zoo" really Loud!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuRy-OZuoYM

Old Timey Diseases

I was reading an old novel the other day and one of the characters had Dropsy. I realized I had no idea what Dropsy is. One never hears of anyone suffering from Dropsy anymore. I put the book down and went to my trusty laptop and googled Dropsy. Well the reason you don't hear of it is because it is now called Edema. Umm what is Edema? I found that it s the abnormal accumulation of fluid or swelling.

Then I started thinking about other old timey diseases you don't hear of anymore. Things like Pleurisy and Lumbago. What were these diseases and do we still suffer from them?
I had no idea what Pleurisy was either but it sounds sinister like something that would afflict a character in a Bronte novel. I again googled it and found it was indeed a real thing and it was a lung disease. It is the swelling of the pleural cavity surrounding the lungs. I realized i had once had pleurisy! It is painful but cure now with antibiotics.
Then I started think about Lumbago. I suspected it was some sort of back element.  I had a hypothesis, a guess, a hunch and what do you know I was right. It is pain in the lower back. It is sort of a catch all term for back pain.
Theses are real diseases and luckily we no longer have to see our general surgeon to be cured but can pop a quick pill and be back in the pink of health again in no time.

Last of the Summer Wine a 37 Year Run

One of the longest running television shows and the longest running sitcom was the BBC comedy  "Last of the Summer Wine". The first series started in 1973 and the final show was broadcast in 2010. The series set in a village in Yorkshire is based on older people and follows the adventures of three old men and their various cronies. The three men change over time, well there was one that was in the cast for all 37 years the character of Norman Clegg played by Peter Sallis. Another long time member of the cast was Bill Owen who played the character of Campo Simmonite. Other members of the geriatric triumvirate were Michael Bates as Cyril, Brian Wilde as Foggy Dewhurst and Frank Thornton as Truly Truelove. The men older men of the village live a second childhood and get involved in weekly misadventures. These madcap and silly happenings are scornfully watched by and gossiped about by the ladies of a certain age of the village. The local ladies are equally long time characters. Kathy Staff played the battleaxe Nora Batty, Dame Thora Hird, Jane Alexander and June Whitfield all played parts for many years. "Last of the Summer Wine" was created and Written by Roy Clarke who created Britcoms like "Open All Hours" and "Keeping Up Appearances".

Zasu Pitts The Worried Woman

Zasu Pitts should never be forgotten! She started working in silent films in silent films and made her last film appearance in "Its a Mad Mad Mad Mad World". Almost always cast as the nervous or worried woman she was a comedienne in almost all her films.
Born Eliza Susan Pitts in 1894 to Rulandus and Nelly Pitts in Kansas her professional name, Zasu was a nickname given to her by her Civil War veteran father. In 1903 her family moved to Santa Cruz, California where she started her stage career.

Her first non-extra film role was in the 1917 film "The Little Princess" starring Mary Pickford. Zasu Pitts really made her mark in the silent one reel comedies. These lead her to the starring role in King Vidor's "Better Times". This eventually lead her to be cast in Erich Von Stoheim's 9 hour epic film "Greed" considered by many scholars to be one of the greatest films ever made. Zasu Pitts achieved her greatest fame in the 1930's having been paired with fellow comedienne Thelma Todd. Her usual role were those of worried and nervous spinsters. After World War II she was cast as mainly snoopy neighbors and annoying relatives. In the 1950's she moved into television. There she had many roles including a co-starring role in "The Gale Storm Show". Her final role was playing the nervous phone operator in Stanley Kramer's madcap "Its a Mad Mad Mad Mad World".

John Waters is Not Dead

Reports on the internet stated that John Waters died yesterday. It was on the internet so it must be right but OH NO it turns out that it wasn't. John Waters is alive and filthy. This is the kind of press that he must love. If anyone would enjoy reports of his death it would be John Waters. The reports came out oddly the day before the anniversay of he greatest star Divine's death. So stop your mourning for John Waters!

"Modern Family" a Modern Cliche

The sitcom on ABC "Modern Family" has gotten rave reviews and won many television awards but I don't see why. I to be honest had never seen the show until last night and I really only watched it because I knew someone who was on the show. I found the entire half an hour to be predictable, humorless and insulting. Cliche upon cliche made up the script and none of them were funny. Horny demanding housewives, mincing gay men and bumbling husbands populate the script. The kids are no better the dumb older daughter and her brainy sister are left to babysit their younger bother and two other family remembers, the geeky fat kid and irritating bratty girl. These are all people we have seen a million times unfortunately there have been much better written versions of these cliche characters.
The two gay male characters were the most offensive and cliche ridden of them all. They flit about flouncing from one gay cliche to another. These are roles that could be played by Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly if not Edward Everett Horton. I was rather shocked by the portrayal of these characters. This is not what I expected in 2013; after all the press the show has gotten I expected something remotely real life but was shone yet another hackneyed fag role.
Perhaps the episode I watched was an anomaly but I think not. I frankly didn't laugh once during the entire half and hour. The jokes could be seen coming and when they came they weren't funny but mildly amusing at best. I was very disappointed.

Don't Mess with 1303

Dude you stole from Girl Scouts! Sure they are annoying but don't steal from them! Sass their shash, sure who doesn't but come on steal from them?
Twenty year old Colin Sawyer has been arrested for the theft from Girl Scout Troop 1303. Dude you don't mess with 1303 they will come down on you as will the rest of society! Come on you stole cookie money! You better be a junkie otherwise you are just an asshole! If you are a junkie you get a pass because you're a junkie and junkies are idiots. If you aren't a junkie you are a puss! You stole from Girl Scouts dude! What's next a VFW? Neither tween girls or geriatrics can stop you!
Nanna Kicking: your next crime Mr. Sawyer? I know a bunch of Down Syndrome kids who are ripe for the fleecing if you need a new mark.
Didn't you know you don't mess with girls with badges? Those girls from Troop 1303 have their Miss Marble badges! Don't mess with 1303! Word.

Bloody Caesar

The Ides of March is coming and in Canada the way to celebrate it is was a Bloody Caesar. The cocktail is similar to a Bloody Mary but it has the added ingredient of clam juice.
The Bloody Caesar was invented in Calgary in 1969 by the restaurateur Walter Chell at the Calgary Inn. Chell was a native of Italy and his homeland and the spaghetti with tomato and clam sauce from Venice was his inspiration.  He experimented with the drink for a while until he perfected his drink. Once it was on the menu it took off and became extremely popular there and eventually through out the Calgary area.
The creation of the Bloody Caesar and the development of Mott's Clamato juice Serendipitously coincided. Clamato is now an essential when making a Bloody Caesar. The drink is vodka, hot sauce, Worchestershire, salt and pepper and Clamato juice and served in highball glass with celery and a lime. Mott's sold only 500 cases of Clamto the year it came out but now the popularity of the drink accounts for over 75% of Clamto sales.
Almost unknown outside of Canada the Bloody Caesar is available in some bars in the US and Europe popular with Canadians.

The Poop Maven

Dogs are such wonderful things to have in your life. They are always your friend and thrilled when you walk into the house. There is nothing like the unadulterated love you get from a dog. They do have a downside, poop. Dogs like to eat and they really love to poop. Dog poop is just one of the things you just have to deal with if you have a dog.  I knew this when I got my first dog. I knew she would need to poop and resigned myself to be the person that disposes of her poop. Then I got a second dog. She too poops. So now I have double the dog poop in my life but if you are picking up after one dog it isn’t really that hard to pick up after a second.

When I got my dogs I lived in a house with an enclosed area that they could run about and play in. They could also poop at will. Then we moved. We moved to an apartment and pooping became an event. We go out and we walk and they poop and they love it. This means I follow after them picking up their poop in plastic bags for disposal. We have moved into a neighborhood filled with dogs and I have discovered that many people don’t get the concept of picking up after their dogs. There seems to be poop everywhere. Not only do dogs love to poop they love finding poop. My dogs are the very best poop finders. I don’t know if I just never noticed poop before but I seem to be hyperaware of it lately. I have become a poop maven.

I have recently become a poop spy! I watch the other dog owners in my neighborhood to see just who it is who doesn’t pick up after their dogs. I have yet to catch a poop leaver and I don’t know what exactly I would do if I found one but I am always watching.  So beware poop leavers I am out there. I am the poop maven!

"Worst Birthday Ever"

Oh Boo hoo poor Justine Bieber had a bad birthday! He and his entourage went to a tony London restaurant and they didn't kow tow to the 19 year old troll. He demanded a family dining at a near by table move but the management said no. What did little miss Bieber do? He stormed out in a snit and then tweeted it was "The worst birthday ever".  I can think of a worse birthday, having to listen to your "music".

She was a V-A-M-P...Vamp!

Theda Bara was the original goth girl and one of the biggest silent film stars. Bara made over 40 films between the years 1914 and 1926. One of the most beloved and reviled women of her time Theda Bara was evil, depraved and wildly popular. She never made a film after sound was introduced and that was her decision. The majority of Bara's films no longer exist due to a Fox warehouse fire in 1936 but her influence survives to this day. If there had been no Theda Bara there would be no Siouxsie Sioux or Marilyn Manson.

Born Theodosia Goodman in Cincinnati, Ohio in 1885 or 1895 or whatever her press agent said Bara was the child of Jewish immigrants who believed in her dream of becoming an actress. Bara and her family moved to New York in order for her to succeed as an actress. Small roles on Broadway eventually lead her from the stage to the screen. Her first role was an minuscule role in "The Stain" in 1914. Her next role was a starring role as "The Vamp" in 1915's "A Fool There Was". A vamp was a slang term for vampire but not the blood sucking vampire of Bram Stoker but a vampire who stole the heart and sole of a man for her own pleasure and fully under her control. Vamps were bad women and loved for the villainy and revered for their sexuality. They were the pre-suffrage flappers. They were women in control of their own destiny but doomed because of it. Theda Bara was the queen of the vamps and always will be. Fox studio was built on Theda Bara's back. Her movies proved to be so popular Fox pumped them out one after another. Her box office draw also supplied Theda Bara with a very good income. She was as big a draw as Mary Pickford and Charlie Chaplin. Her vamp character was her bed and butter but it was also her downfall. When Bara tried near the end of her career to play non-vamp roles she was not anywhere near as popular. In an effort to escape the type casting she had fallen into her last role was in a Hal Roach comedy. She was never able to get away from her sex symbol image. She was after all the first sex symbol.
Bara did perform on stage for a while until she married the director Charles Brabin. After her marriage she and her husband settled into a Beverly Hills home and Bara became a noted socialite. Theda Bara was able to become more than "just a movie person" and entered Los Angeles' elite and closed "Society".
For many years after her retirement Bara was rumored to be making a comeback but none of those comebacks ever materialized. Theda Bara and her husband also had a long and apparently happy marriage. Bara died in 1955 from stomach cancer.

I Might Just Love Alabama Shakes

One night not too long ago I was bored at home watching TV and I happened to catch an episode of Saturday Night Live. I normally don't watch SNL anymore for a bunch of reasons and I almost never care for the bands they book. The evening's show that I caught featured a band called Alabama Shakes. The name was enough to put me off as I was expecting some sort of Taylor Swit with palsy kind of band but I was proven wrong! I am so glad I was so filled with ennui that I couldn't change the channel because I might just love Alabama Shakes! This isn't the kind of band I would normally find attractive but there was something about them that grabbed me. That something is lead singer Brittany Howard. She has an energy and a charisma that makes you want to watch her. Their song on SNL was enough to make me want to see them live. I think she is someone who really needs to be seen live to really get her vibe. Ms. Howard is an energy force to be reckoned with. A if Joan Armatrading had balls or Linda Perry was friendly kind of vibe is what you get from her.
After the otherwise forgettable SNL was over I googled the band. Who knew they won a Grammy? I must of been out of the room or doing something else when the award was given; who knows. I started listening to them the next day and I have to say I am impressed. I normally don't really care for the roots/southern rock sound but they are able to bring a nice edge to it.
Visually they look exactly what I think a garage band from Alabama would look like. I have checked several of their videos and I really think they are a band to be seen live.  I will be keeping my eye on this band to see where they go from here.

Blog is back and Running!

Oh sweet mystery of live! For some reason the blog page is now working once again! I will try to post again now as often as I can. I hope it keeps working correctly!

Vampira Show

There is a small shop on Melrose Ave in Los Angeles that sells merchandise from Kreepsville 666 called Monster A Go Go. In the back of the shop is a small room that has been set up as a gallery. On March 1st of 2013 there was an opening for their new show. The theme of the show was Vampira the late great B-movie hostess. The show consisted of paintings, prints and sculptures based on the character of Vampira. The show is short lived but pulled in a good goth crowd of Vampira fans.