John Waters is Not Dead

Reports on the internet stated that John Waters died yesterday. It was on the internet so it must be right but OH NO it turns out that it wasn't. John Waters is alive and filthy. This is the kind of press that he must love. If anyone would enjoy reports of his death it would be John Waters. The reports came out oddly the day before the anniversay of he greatest star Divine's death. So stop your mourning for John Waters!