Los Feliz Murder Mansion How Creepy!

Like Charles Dickens' Haversham mansion in "Great Expectations" there is an empty house in the hills of Los Feliz looking down upon the city of Los Angeles. Unoffically known as the Los Feliz Murder Mansion, 2475 Glendower Place is the site of a murder that took place on December 6, 1959. The house at the time was occupied by a Dr. Harold Perelson and his family. On that night Dr. Perelson beat his wife to death with a hammer. In the house were his three children. The eldest Perelson daughter escaped the house and ran to a neighbor's home for help. The younger children awoke but were convinced by their father that it was just a bad dream. Dr. Perelson then commited suicide by drinking a glass of acid.
Standing empty today the house has been unoccupied since the time of the murder. The Perelson family sold the house a year later to Emily and Julian Enriquez who never spent a night in the house. Neighbors reported seeing them bring boxes in and out of the house but never spend time there. The house is fabled to have been left in the state it was the night of the murder. The rumour has it the family christmas tree is still in place but it has never been proved or disproved as no one is allowed in. In 1994 Rudy Enriquez inherited the house from his parents and has follwed in their footsteps by not living there. He has been seen by neighbors feeding cats.
The Los Feliz Mansion still sits behind its walls slowly decomposing still uninhabited surrounded by multi-million dollar mansions and celebrites. Dark and ominous in the LA sunshine the Los Feliz Murder Mansion is a real life Scooby-doo mystery!

Antenna TV Retro TV at its Best

There is a television network I am obessed with. It is Antenna TV. Launched in January of 2011 Antenna TV broadcasts old televisions shows from the 50's, 60's 70's and the 80's. If you love old television this is the network for you. AntennaTV is not avialable in every market but it is expanding. I have always been a huge fan of Gracie Allen and because of this networks reruns of "The Burns and Allen Show" I am able to watch her on a nightly basis. Old television programs like "Adam 12" and "Dragnet" play daily as do "Hazel", "Alfred Hitchcock Presents", "Too Close for Comfort" and "McHale's Navy". There are also movies there is an upcoming Gidget movie marathon. Keeping with the retro style Antenna TV also uses the voice over talent of Gary Owens of "Laugh In" fame. The majority of the programming comes from the Sony Pictures library. Most recently Universal's library has also been added. So if you want to reaquaint your self with "Soap" or the genius comedies of Norman Lear this is the station for you!

Run Katie Run

It was announced today that Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from husband Tom Cruise and requested sole custody of their child Suri. Has she finally had enough of her little big man and his cult? Perhaps it was a screening of "Rock of Ages" that pushed her over the line. What ever her reasons are she should run and run fast and then hide. Scientology doesn't care for defectors. Did the cult become too much? Waiting for the mothership with L. Ron Hubbard must be very taxing. All those straight un-depressed people waiting to drink the Kool-aid at the celebrity center could surely get on anyones nerves. Take a page from Nicole Kidman's book and run like a girl with a head on her shoulders Katie!

Ancient & Horribles Parade

The Fourth of July, the good ole USA's celebration of independence is around the corner. It is a time for parties and parades. Many towns have patriotic and nationalistic parades with floats, marching bands and smiling politicians waving from car with beauty queens. There is a parade that stands out from the crowd. This parade is The Ancient and Horribles Parade in Glocester, Rhode Island.
Ancient and Horrbles parades are an old New England tradition from the 19th century. Glocester RI's parade keeps up that Fourth of July tradition. There are traditional marching bands, veteran groups, boy and girls scout troops and marching bands but along with these standards are floats and marching troupes of a more satrical and farcical nature. Social mores, political figures and current events are skewered (sometimes physically) with monsters and gruesome characters. Part July 4th part Halloween the Ancient and Horribles Parade winds its way through the village of Chepachet a classic New England village filled with stately colonial homes and quaint picture postcard shops. Founded in 1927 the Glocester event is often over shadowed by America's oldest 4th of July parade in Bristol, Rhode Island but it has a fan base of its own.

Happy Birthday Mel Brooks

Eighty-six years ago today in Brooklyn, New York Melvin Kaminsky was born. Known today as the comic genius Mel Brooks he is one of America's treasures. His career started in the Catskills "Borscht Belt" where he was a part-time comic and tummler at Grossingers. For those of you who don't know what a tummler is; a tummler is a master entertainer who made sure all the guests were having a good time and knew of the entertainments offered at the resorts. His old friend Sid Caesar hired him on as a writer for the ground breaking 1950's televison show "Your Show of Shows". There he wrote with fellow comic greats Neil Simon and Carl Reiner. Mel and Carl Reiner teamed up after the show and created the 2000 Year Old Man. Carl Reiner went on to create the Dick Van Dyke show and the character of Buddy Sorrel played by Morey Amsterdam was based on Mel Brooks. In the mid 60's Mel teamed up with another comic of reknown Buck Henry and created the television classic "Get Smart" starring Don Adams.
Brooks went on to become known as a director of comic masterpieces starting with "The Producers" and including such revered comedies "Blazing Saddles", "Young Frankenstein", "Silent Movie" and "High Anxiety" among others.
He was married for 41 years to the actress Anne Bancroft until her death in 2004. He is still working to this day. A broadway production of "The Producers" won a record 12 Tony awards. Mel Brooks is one of a handful of performers to have received an Oscar, an Emmy, a Tony and a Grammy award.
Happy Birthday to Mel Brooks!

Robbie Douglas from My Three Sons has Died

If you watched 60's TV like I have you will know "My Three Sons". The sitcom about an all american family the Douglas family was sort of a ground breaker. Steve Douglas played by Fred MacMurray was a widow raiseing his 3 sons with the help of irracible Uncle Charlie (William Demerast). Robbie the oldest was played by Don Grady, Chip the second son was played by Stanley Livinstone and Ernie was played by Barry Livingstone, Stanley's younger brother. Robbie the oldest was in a band and went to college where he met Katie and married her eventually having a set of triplets. If you know all that and other facts I have left out you have watched too much 60's TV.
Don Grady who played Robbie has died at age 68 in Thousand Oaks, California. Before he was on "My Three Sons" he was on "The Mickey Mouse Club". After the show went off the air he performed in a few other TV shows and then movied onto a career in music for film and television. Including the "Phil Donahue" theme song.His sister was Lani O'Grady the eldest daughter on "Eight is Enough" She died in 2001 from a drug over dose.

Great Michael Jackson's Ghost!

A tabloid in England is reporting, so it must be true, that the manison in Holmbly Hills where Michael Jackson died is haunted! How eerie and chilling!
In his very words:
"Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood"
So Michael Jackson now walks the halls of the mansion where he died. Is this a tactic to scare away or attract possible buyers to the manse? His specter appearing could be fun but then again it could be rather annoying. His face had gotten rather scary while alive imagine it now! Would his ghost have his old face? Would his music be involved in his haunting? If so there could be royalties due.
Michael was supposed to be a beliver in the after life. Could he really have come back? He was working on his come back after all when he died. It seems possible as he had trouble sleeping while alive and now he gets no rest in death.
Think of all the fun senaces! Mediums will be flocking to Holmbly Hills. This could be LA's newest tourist attraction. "Come see Michael Jackson's ghost"

Alex Trebeck out of Jeopardy and Back on in a Month

Game show quiz master Alex Trebeck suffered a heart attack over the weekend. He is well on the road to recovery but still hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. This was Mr Trebeck's second heart attack. Last year year Mr. Trebeck had another health related event last year when he awoke to find a woman in his San Francisco hotel room. He chased her tearing his Achilles tendon.
Jeopardy with Alex Trebeck is scheduled to begin taping its 20th season in July.

Uggie is an Official Star

On Monday June 25th Uggie the dog co-star of "The Artist" became an official Hollywood star. His paw prints were immortalized in cement at Grauman's Chinese Theater on Hollywood Blvd. He has joined the likes of Marilyn Monroe and Cary Grant. Uggie's trainer, Omar Van Muller, has announced that Uggie is retiring. Uggie will no longer be a working actor but just a dog. Good for Uggie. His life has not been all gala openings and film sets, Uggie like many other stars has a rough past. He was an unwanted pet surrendered not once but twice by families who thought he was to wild to keep. On his way to the pound Uggie was found and taken in by Van Muller an animal trainer from North Hollywood.
Uggie will now retire and live out the rest of his days in Von Muller's home. Uggie also serves as the perfect example of why dogs need to be saved from impound and euthanasia.

Lonesome George has Died

The last of his subspecies Lonesome George has died in his home on the Galapagos. His age is unknown but estimated to be in the vicinity of 100 years. George was found 40 years ago alone on the island of his birth by a group of hunters who were on his island to remove goats. The goats had been introduced to the island but devastated the enviornment leading to the demise of the giant tortoise. George was the last of his subspecies. He was rescued and moved to an enclosure in Equador's Galapagos National Park. As there are no more of George's subspecies it was hoped he would mate with a female of another subspecies from a neighboring island. Unfortunately this did not happen.
Another day and yet another extinction.

Let's Do the LACMA Rock

Have you heard about the LACMA Rock? It is a new sculptural installation at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) by Michael Heizer actually titled "Levitated Mass". But it is really just known to the LA millions with a TV set as The LACMA Rock.
Once upon a time, a million million years ago, a rock was made in what is now Riverside County California. Then one day a sculptor came a'ramblin' through a quarry and lo and behold there it was awaiting, the LACMA Rock.

"Take me to Hollywood or near enough by to be Hollywood.", the rock called out to the sculptor, and he did. First he was going to need $10 million dollars and a big ass truck! He got it. Then he needed to haul the 340 ton rock to Los Angeles. Well he did that too. Hours of slow moving news footage proves that. At this point the rock was just a starlet, not a full fledged star. The path to stardom is a long hard road 105 miles to be exact. Sometimes electrical wires can get in your way and sometimes it's a critic but you just have to carry on. The sculptor and his rock did.

A trench was dug, granite laid and some really special big rock holding thingys were designed. The LACMA Rock was finally ready for its opening. Bring out the klieg lights, roll out the red carpet and call Geffen the LACMA Rock is here!

"Come on in Come on in, Yes folks that is a 340 ton boulder before your very eyes and you too can walk right under it! Hob nob with the Hoi Polloi and the creme de la creme right her under the LACMA Rock! For a mere $15 or free if you are a member you too can walk under the rock!"

Guilty, Guilty, Guilty X 45

Jerry Sandusky has been found guilty of 45 counts of various forms of assault. What he has done to boys is beyond offensive it is heinous. He will be in prison for 442 years give or take a hundred.
What about his wife Dottie? It seems she is off the hook so far. She claims not to know anything, come on lady you don't live in a mansion its a house and unless you were heavily sedated you heard something.
The door is now opened for the law suits against Penn State. Don't think there won't be more than a handful. Jerry Sandusky could bring down Penn State University, he as already ruined its reputation in many minds. His "charity" might as well close its door for good. What ever good it ever did is forever to be over shadowed with Sandusky's crimes.
All those boys, now men, may never properly heal. They will have a scar that can't be seen but it is there none the less. Those boys are the ones who shouldn't be forgotten. They were vulnerable and abused. The cheer that went out in Happy Valley, Pennsylvania upon the guilty verdict should  be for those boys for speaking up and taking back their lives.

A Blog I Read

I read a lot of Blogs. Perhaps too many. There are a few that I go to all the time as I enjoy them. One of these is: http://alouisianajones.blogspot.com/ 
The writer is an old friend of mine who I don't get to see that often so I like keeping up with her mind. She is a funny and very insightful writer. If she likes a record I make sure I give it a listen. If she recommends a book I read it. Check it out!

Dial M for Marlene

A new play is opening in Hollywood written by Gary LeGault. "Dial M for Marlene" is a farce set in the Park Ave. apartment of a fading glamorous star. Based on a possibly actual event this comic play about two movie queens has lots of laughs. Is it true or is it a fantasy? Who is to say.
The hostess "Marlene" is performed by Victoria Valentino. A classically trained actress Ms Valentino first came into the national spot light as Playboy Magazine's Miss September 1963. The guest of honor in "Dial M for Marlene" is "Marilyn" performed by up and coming actress Ariane Bellamar. Ms. Bellamar is one of the stars of the upcoming ABC Family Channel's "Beverly Hills Nannies". These iconic blonds drink champagne and expose themselves to each other and the audience with tongue in cheek performances.
The play also has the supporting cast of Sophie Brabenec, Peter Cluff, Bruce Culpepper and Jeremy Ebenstein playing a variety of roles.
"Dial M for Marlene" opens on June 28th for a limited run ending July 15th. Performances are Thursday through Saturday at 8pm and Sunday matinees at 2pm. Tickets are $25 and can be reserved via phone at: (310) 360-7064.

Think for a second...

Do you remember high school?

Bicentennial of the War of 1812 and Dolly Madison

Today is the bicentennial of the War of 1812. It seems like only yesterday it was the bicentennial of the Revolution! Has it only been 36 years? In 1812 James Madison was president and his wife remembered now for a brand of snack cakes was first lady.
Dolly has a great story though. She was raised a Quaker and married at the old maid age of 22 in 1790. Dolly was living a nice life in Philadelphia when her husband died. She was a widow with a young son. Dolly's sister had married well. She was married to George Washington's cousin. Dolly hung with a good crowd. In those days the Continental Congress convened in Philadelphia as it was the center of American civilization. There was Dolly. James Madison was a member of the Continental Congress from Virginia. He was a friend of man about town Aaron Burr (yes that Aaron Burr) who happened to know (?) Dolly. James Madison arranged an introduction to the dynamic Dolly and Bob's your uncle she is Dolly Madison. James, Dolly and her son who for one reason or another was called Todd even though his name was Payne were off to the Madison Plantation in Virginia. And in the course of human events James Madison was elected President of the United States of America. He and Dolly moved to Washington DC. Washington in those days was a dump not unlike it was in the 1976. Dolly was appalled but sallied forth. The White House was relatively new and more or less unfurnished. The previous presidents had brought their own gear and took it when they left. Dolly had a big house and no furniture. She needed chairs and stuff. Dolly was able to weedle a few bucks out of Congress and buy some bits and pieces. There were a bunch of good paintings too. Then all of a sudden Dolly's lovely life was altered a bit. The War of 1812 started on June 18, 1812. The next thing she knows the British were attacking Washington. The cheek! Not only did they attack Washington the went after the White House. Dolly got wind and had enough time to pack a few things including a painting of George Washington. Out the door Dolly and the father of the country ran. Dolly was the only First Lady to have to flee the White House if you don't count Pat Nixon.
Well we won and Dolly was left with a burned out presidential mansion. Dolly persevered.
Dolly's son "Todd" was her true cross to bear. He was one of the original spoiled White House kids. He never really did anything right and did most things wrong. He was a pill.
James Madison died and well Dolly thought they had money. Surprise Dolly you don't. You are 52 have no money and a putz of a son. All Dolly had was Madison's Plantation and a douche of a son. She did the logical illogical thing and let her son run the estate while she went back to her friends in Washington. I think you can see where we are going with this. Things just didn't go well. Todd squandered (drank) away his mother's livelihood. Dolly finally had to sell the land and house. All she had was the contents of the house and John Madison's papers. Well those also had to go.
Dolly was more or less destitute and lived the end of her years in Washington. She was a First Lady so she had respect and position. She went to all the parties but always wore the same dress as it was all she had. Dolly lived to be 81, dying in 1849.
Dolly was tough she deserves a snack cake to be named after her!

"Superstar in a Housedress"

"Jackie was speeding away. Thought she was James Dean for a day..."

The Jackie in Lou Reed's song was Jackie Curtis underground performer and superstar. Craig Highberger made a documentary on the life of Jackie Curtis called "Superstar in a Housedress". Narrated by Lily Tomlin, the film along with an accompanying book tells Jackie's story, his rise and then his eventual demise through the words of his friends and contemporaries.
Jackie's life was filled with glamour and sadness and the film is as well.
Jackie Curtis, if you don't know who he was, performed on stage in New York during the 60's, 70's and 80's but is most remembered for his connection with Andy Warhol and his films. Jackie grew up on the lower east side of Manhattan when it was the lower east side and not chic. His grand mother Slugger Anne owned an eponymously named bar on 12th St. Curtis was raised by Slugger Anne after his parents divorced. He would go to the movies and spend hours watching the old film stars and in time became them in his own way. He performed both in male and female persona. Jackie's drag was a different kind of drag. It was a drag that challenged what drag of the time was. He wore old housedresses and torn stockings sometimes not shaving but still somehow pulled it off. He was also a playwright and his plays were performed downtown often at La Mama ETC. Jackie Curtis died in 1985, he was only 38.
Jackie was one of the big three, the Warhol drag superstars, Jackie, Holly Woodlawn and Candy Darling. All three appeared together in the movie "Women in Revolt". Holly the sole survivor of the three gives a sad and touching interview but leaves you laughing.
If you are at all interested in this period then this documentary is a must see.

Rodney King has Died at 47

Rodney King the man at the center of the controversy that caused the LA riots has died at the age of 47. He was found by his fiancee at the bottom of a swimming pool. 20 years ago King's beating by the police and the trial where the officers were found not guilty sparked the 1992 LA riots. Mr. King was infamous for being quoted as saying "Can't we all just get along". This may well be the way he is remembered. Rodney King later faced many personal demons with drugs and alcohol and had just written a book about his experience.

40 Years since Watergate

The term Tricky Dick was invented 40 years ago. The President of the United States was discovered to be infallible by the Washington Post and exposed as a man not a "President". The Watergate break-in happened and the office of the Presidency took another and this time near fatal nail in its coffin. Suddenly no one could believe that president. The Archie Bunkers of the good old U.S of A. had stop and think for a minute. Everything changed. Rosemary Woods tried to help her boss; to no real avail. The trials aired on daily afternoon television eroded what was left of the reverence and revere of the office and the government in general. It was almost Helter Skelter. The nation was shaken and disturbed.
Richard Nixon despite his pardoning became a touch point. He was evil government personified. He was Tricky Dick and until his death and that of Pat Nixon, his wife, he was vilified. Richard Nixon died in disgrace.
The years have tempered the nation's take on Nixon. Not his foibles but his positives. The most Nixon hating of us can now see Richard Nixon's pluses 40 years later. The demon has been sanctified. It was the worst of times but he best of times. 40 years ago the American people thought.

We can think again you know!

Let's celebrate Watergate and all it brought us. If it weren't for Watergate we wouldn't have Billygate or Nannygate in our collective lexicon. 40 years ago!

It is Flag Day

Today is Flag Day. It isn't an official holiday but it is a national day nonetheless. Did you celebrate? Did you wave a banner gaily and patriotically? Oh say can you see and all that is what the day is all about. It is a day to be a banner waver, a day to be an American without being a geek. This is a day to sing "America the Beautiful" if if you are so inclined a chourus of "California Uber Alles".
Have a bombs bursting mid-air kind of Flag Day.

Photo of Divine by Greg Gorman 1986

James Honeyman-Scott

On June 16 1982 James Honeyman-Scott died. That was 30 years ago. The Pretenders' guitarist was 25 years old when he died. His brief career had not yet reached its possible peak. Honeyman-Scott died of heart failure due to an intolerance to cocaine. Pete Farndon the Pretenders' bass player survived him by one year. The Pretenders as they were died too. Two full albums and an EP were the output of their brief existence. Chrissy Hynde and Martin Chambers still perform under the name Pretenders more aptly than ever.
Honeyman-Scott was a native of Hereford, England as were Fardon and Chambers. There they met American Hynde and formed the Pretenders. Four years later it was all over. Thirty years ago, time flies. Listen to "Precious" really loud. Then put on "Tattooed Love Boys". Do as a tribute to James Honeyman-Scott.

Moby is Selling Paul Lynde's House

Musician and architecture fan Moby is selling a home in LA he owns. The house in the hills above Sunset Blvd was once the home of Paul Lynde. Yes Paul Lynde, Uncle Arthur, the center square lived in the house. The 3 bedroom and 3 bath house was built in 1926 in what was called the Hollywood Regency style. It has a guest house and a cabana by a trapezoid shaped pool. Moby is asking over 3 million dollars for the place.
This is Hollywood memorabilia. Who wouldn't want  to live in Paul Lynde's old home? Apparently Moby doesn't anymore. Not only did Paul Lynde live in the house so did Errol Flynn, what a dichotomy! If the walls of this house could talk they could make Jackie Collins blush.

Casey Anthony Can't Go Outside, Good

Casey Anthony claims her life is a misery now and she can't go outside. She is living in a prison. Oh boo hoo and shut up. The civilized world is tired of hearing from and about you. Guilty, innocent who cares. You were more than an announce for well over a year causing a stir that was frankly disgusting and vile if you are guilty or not. If your parents and their inane squabbles are never seen again too; that's an added bonus. You can't leave the house; good! Why don't you do the rest of the world a favor and stay in, watch TV and get fat quietly. Casey Anthony represents a generation of Americans who were told they were exceptional but weren't. A generation of trophy receiving, coddled, entitled nobodies who expect to be treated like royalty has been raised in this country. The Snookies and Casey Anthonys are poster children who rightfully deserve to be on a milk carton. Vulgarity and stupidity has replaced intelligence and creativity. The only difference between Snookie and Casey is the Anthony creature may or may not have committed a crime. Otherwise they are cut from the same self indulgent cloth. 
It time for Casey and her ilk to grow a pair. Get a job, get some therapy and shut up.

Harry and Tonto

I sat alone at home this evening watching a bit of TV. TMC was showing "Harry and Tonto". I hadn't seen the movie in years and suddenly now I remember how wonderful a film it is. It is Art Carney's masterpiece. He won the academy award for best actor for his performance and deserved it! Art Carney isn't Norton he is Harry. Ralph is 100% forgotten Art Carney is someone entirely different, a complete character, fully realized and delivered.
"Harry and Tonto" is a brilliant movie you should see it. The director is Paul Mazursky. He was able to draw amazing performances with simplicity and honesty. Harry and his encounters are all real people; this is true acting. This is what acting is supposed to be about. Art Carney proves himself as a proper and respectable actor.
The premise of a road trip from New York to Los Angeles may be an overworked concept but Mazursky is able to make you believe Harry and his cohorts are real. Art Carney is Harry and Tonto the cat is Tonto. You believe them and because of that you love them. Laugh cry what else can you ask for? Get a copy and watch it.

Mr Drucker, Sam Cady has Died

Somewhere in America is a quirky little town called Hooterville, it's not far from Pixlie. In that town is a general store and post office run by a man named Sam Drucker. Mr. Drucker is the the voice of semi reason in a town that has its own reality. Mr. Drucker was also the newspaper editor and volunteer fireman in Hooterville, a Renaissance man. Things happen in Hooterville that you wouldn't believe. There is a collective craziness there.
Hooterville is not a real place and Sam Drucker is not a real person. Mr. Drucker was a charater portrayed by actor Frank Cady. Frank Cady died recently he was 96. Sam Cady had a long career as a character actor. He graduated from Stanford and went off to England and did a show for the BBC before returning to the US to appear in small roles in several film noir classics and eventually appearing on television sitcoms. He will always be remembered as Mr. Drucker. Sam Drucker ran the store that was a fixture in "Green Acres" and "Petticoat Junction". He was also a love interested, albeit one sided, of Granny Clampet.
When Frank Cady retired from acting he and Shirley, his wife of 60 years retired in Oregon. He will always be Sam Drucker. Thanks for the laughs Mr. Drucker!

Did you know the Oreo is 100 years old?

I was reading an article about the Nabisco building in New York, now called the Chelsea Market and it made mention of the Oreo cookie. I haven't had an Oreo in years but there was a time they were like heroin for me. The crispy black part and the sweet deliciousness of the whipped lard based white part were a nirvana. I started thinking back fondly about great Oreo moments in my life...
I looked the cookie up on line and found that it is 100 years old this year! How cool is that? For one hundred years kids have been twisting the black parts counter and clockwise to gnaw at the white part. Kids have been dunking them in mild and eating them out of the glass with a spoon for a century! In my extensive research of almost several websites I discovered that Oreos are a knock off! They are Nabisco's answer to Sunshine Bakery's Hydrox cookies. The Oreo has  kicked Hydrox's kosher ass.
I have never been a fan of the Double Stuff and certainly not the Triple Stuff. I like my oreo classic like a dry martini unadorned yet perfect.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVpA3qjeNV8&feature=relmfu

Oh Lindsay, Lindsay Lindsay!

Oh little messed up Lindsay, how could you get into yet another auto accident! Just when the public was behind your rehabilitation and there you go ruining your insurable status. Who do you have advising you, the ghost of Amy Winehouse? I know; its not "your" fault this time. Do you think one insurer will buy that excuse? Have you ever thought of hiring a driver and staying in your damned house at night? This is the kind of shit is what gets your ass fired! You want to be back on the hire-able list you say. Your lifestyle isn't exactly making the suits stand up in attention. Well they are, but not the good kind of way. this is not veryLiz Taylor behavior; it is more like Dana Plato. Snap out of it sister! Do your dammed job and get your paycheck. Go home at night learn your goddamn lines and show up on time. Be nice to the crew and eat lunch with the rest of the cast. Be a proper actor; because you know what? You're no longer a star but a detriment and an amusement at best. When you are once again A-list you can be a pest but until then you need to tote that barge bitch! Good luck because you do deserve it and if can you pull your fucking socks up you will survive. Godspeed Girl!

Car Talk Closing Up Shop

The Magliozzi brothers Ray and Tom have announced they are going to retire their popular NPR show "Car Talk". There will be no more news from Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, no more phone calls for help to the brothers who made automobile chat palatable and amusing. "Car Talk" was started 25 years ago in Boston and has become a national staple on NPR. The two brothers with their thick New England accents made talking about cars fun and informative with their infectious laughs. They proved that public radio wasn't just for egg heads it could be a place a gear head could have a laugh. They had a short lived television show that for one reason or another didn't catch on. They had the faces for radio it seems. So long Ray and Tom, thanks for the laughs and the advice.

Was the Miss USA Pageant Rigged?

Sheena Monnin, the former Miss Pennsylvania claims the Miss USA pageant was rigged. Could this be? Donald Trump the owner of the Miss USA and Miss Universe Pageants says no. Miss Pennsylvania says she heard from another contestant, Miss Florida, that there was a list of the top five and that the list turned out to be spot on. The eventual winner of the crown was Miss Rhode Island.
Donald Trump claims it is sour grapes on Miss Pennsylvania's part and he saw her briefly and knew she wasn't going to make it. So the Donald thinks she's a dog and bitter. He has threatened to sue her. Let's face it if any beauty queen could rig a pageant it would have to be Miss Rhode Island. As anyone from Rhode Island can tell you anything can be rigged. Miss Florida has denied this slander.
Could this bring the Miss Universe pageant down? Could this be the pageant world's scandal like the games show scandal of the 1950's or the baseball scandal of 1919?
The people at Miss Universe say that Miss Monnin was unhappy about a transgendered contestant from Canada being allowed to compete. Could all of this be a case of both sour grapes and transgender-phobia? Miss Pennsylvania best take care; beware of any tough looking guys in a sharp suits who wants to kiss you on the lips!

Dorothy Parker Remembered

"I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host."

Dorothy Parker died on June 7, 1967. She was 73 years old then and would be 118 today if she had lived. The always sassy Dorothy Parker was raised in New York and became one of the toasts of the town. A member of the Algonquin Round table, Dottie was the woman with the wags. "Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.", she once said. Dorothy Parker was never a millionaire  but when she died she left her entire estate to Dr. Martin Luther King. Upon his death it we transfered to the NCCAP. Lillian Hellman was the executrix and tried to contest it. Dotties ashes sadly were left unclaimed and stored in a filing cabinet at he lawyers office for 17 years.
Dorothy Parker was punk rock before there was even rock. She was Jazz. She was a smart mouthed broad in 1919. She practically invented the critic chick. "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised". During the McCarthy era Dorothy Parker was naturally black listed. For many years she wrote under an assumed name, a nom de plume, Constant Reader.
Dorothy Parker wanted an epitaph: "Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment." Go out and have a martini or four for Dottie.

 

Axl Rose's Jewels

Guns N' Roses is on tour in France and it isn't as pretty as it once was. After a post show party in Paris Axl Rose discovered he had been robbed. What was missing? Well, it seems about $200,000 worth of jewelry. Axl apparently travels with diamond and gold necklaces. The theft apparently put him in a bad mood. Has no one ever explained the concept of copies to Axl? French police eventually found his jewels and the model who had them. The model had been attendance at the party when the theft occurred. She claimed she didn't know how she ended up with them. The classic Lindsay Lohan defence. The hasn't been the happiest of European tours for Guns N' Roses. In England they were pelted with pint glasses and coins. Sweet child of mine the times are tough for Axl.

Banga: Hey, Hey Wake Up.

Poetry, an American’s poetry and the medium is rock n’ roll; Banga is Patti Smith’s latest release and her first release of original music in eight years. Songs about singers and saints sung in sonic swirling symphonic style abound. Banga, the title track is the most rockin’ song of the lot. April Fool is reminiscent of the Motels’ “Take the L Out of Lover” only smarter. The tribute to Amy Winehouse “This is the Girl” is an apt and sad song Amy herself might have sung, a fitting tribute to an artist from an artist. There are strings, clarinets, barking dog sounds and children in the mixes. Layers of sound and lyrics add up to her best original release since “Gung Ho”. Ponderous, yes, but isn’t that how a Patti Smith record should be. The listener should be lost in her sound and poetry entranced by her invocations.  The traveler is ever the American of the 21^st century standing in the past but rooted in the now. Aware and in awe of the saints and sins and travelers of the past she watches and scribes songs of the travelers and seers. Patti Smith’s dreams are dreams of life and art and basilicas. “Constantine’s Dream” is an example of Patti Smith the artist evoking, emoting, making art. This is the important “Patti Smith” on the record. The last song is a cover of Neil Young’s “After the Gold Rush”. Like every Neil Young song it is beautiful and better as a cover than his version. Neil Young is another American genius and deserves of the respect Patti Smith and her child chorus gives him. “Hey, Hey wake up!

Painting by Jo Pendola

A New Version of the Munsters

It has been announced that NBC is remaking the Munsters. This time instead of it being a half an hour comedy it will be an hour long drama. This seems counter intuitive. Why would you take a very funny show and make it into a drama. Why would you make a drama about a vampire, a Frankenstienesque monster, his vampira wife and their werewolf son into a drama/ Then it gets even weirder. Jerry O'Connell is slated to play Herman and Eddy Izzard has been signed to play Grandpa. This just seems doomed to fail. Maybe it is genius but common sense says no it is a huge mistake.
The original was an iconic comedy of the 1960's. There was a dreadful attempt at a remake in the 1980's that was so bad that only the laugh track got laughs. The new version is being called "Mockingbird Lane". The producers are saying it will be Gothic and "Harry Potter" like version with the family just living in an American neighborhood. Perhaps it will be a hit but is just seems doomed.

A Shout Out to Betty

Queen Elizabeth aka The Queen, has been on the throne for 60 years. Sounds sort of dirty doesn't it. She and her groovin' sister Margaret were raised by a king so they knew what they were in for. Betty the future Queen did her queen in training thing and Margaret did everything else. Margaret was the fun loving madcap princess of little girl fantasies. Betty married and begat. She reigned. Sure there have been some ups and downs; it has been sixty years after all. Not every year has been an annus horribilis some were better than others. Sure sometimes is sucks to be the queen but there are a lot of perks to the gig. How many people do you know who have had the same job for sixty years? Betty is just a gal who lives above the shop. Granted it's a killer shop but the junk isn't really hers, it is all on loan. She has a well paying job but one legal off with her head and she out on her ass. Cleverly she has put a bit aside, an IRA fit for a queen. Like any other mother her kids get on her nerves. Most of them are losers and annoying but what's a mother to do? Let's face it she has had a couple of high maintenance and irksome daughter in-laws. Her youngest son seemed pretty gay and until he met his beard he was another thorn in her crown. So give Betty a break. All Hail Regina. Ooh that sounds kinda dirty too.

Marilyn at 85

85 years ago today Marilyn Monroe was born. Of course that wasn't her name then and she wasn't famous but it was Marilyn. What would she be like if she had lived? She would be 85 not an outrageous age, an age a lot of women live to be. Hey Betty White is even older. If she hadn't been a crazy drug addled victim she'd be alive and kicking today. What would she be doing? Maybe a reality TV show; maybe a doctor's wife in a gated community of Santa Barbara.

I like to think she would be living in a rotting estate on Sunset Blvd in Holmbly Hills probably next to the house where Michael Jackson died. No one ever sees her but occasionally she turns up at the Starbuck's on Santa Monica and Fairfax to hang out with her friend Angelyne. I think she would have had a lot of plastic surgery sort of like Mary Tyler Moore. In the 70's she would have probably gotten into EST and quaaludes and maybe known Sun Myung Moon. She would have gone to Studio 54 and most likely have been bad mouthed in Truman Capote's never published "Answered Prayers". Her relationships with Jim Morrison and John Belushi would have been legendary. The girl fight she was allegedly involved in with both Joan and Jackie Collins in the Whilshire I Magnin's sold thousands of National Inquirer issues. Then all of a sudden it stopped, nothing was heard from her. She became a recluse. John Kennedy Jr was rumored to have visited her. It could never be confirmed. Marilyn was known to be a long time critic of Madonna. Marilyn reportedly snubbed Madonna once in the Bristol Farms' smoked salmon department. It was verified by Sandra Bernhard.
Over the years Marilyn in known to stay home more often. Her old friends are slowly dieing off; she always sends flowers but never attends a service. She has become an enigma an icon. Elton John really wants to write a song about her but is afraid she may out live him and Princess Diana.