John Malkovich Super Hero

John Malkovich was just standing on a Toronto Street corner enjoying a cigarette when a man who was walking down the street stumbled and fell. When the man, Jim Walpole, fell against a scaffold on the way to the ground. The scaffold had a jagged edge and slit Mr. Walpole's throat. John Malkovich then jumped into action! He whipped the scarf from around his neck and applied pressure on the wound while someone called an ambulance. Jim Walpole was reassured he would be okay by Malkovich. Mr. Walpole, apparently not a Malkovich fan asked him his name. "John", replied Malkovich.
Emergency help came and relieved super hero John Malkovich and took Mr. Walpole away. So if you ever fall and slice open your neck on a scaffold hope John Malkovich is smoking near by!