The Minge

The stage was completely dark and the club filled buzzing with anticipation. Glow tape faintly marked a mic stand. A few lights shone from unseen amps. The pit was packed tight like sardines in a can. Everyone was waiting patiently holding their plastic cups of beer. Suddenly there was some vague movement on the stage. Was it the roadies doing a final check? There was a murmur from the crowd and Iphone cameras went off capturing absolutely nothing. There was more movement in the dark.

“We’re old, we’re fat and we rock”

The lights zapped on full and hot. Drums banging and a loud sonic burst of guitar announced the return of “The Minge”.

“Did you think we were dead? Fuck you!”

Faster than anyone remembered louder than they ever were The Minge banged through their set. They killed. Andrea, Lula and Karma hadn’t played live in almost 20 years. They had barely spoken to each other.

It had been a long and trying time for all three women. After their last show and their last huge fight they each stormed off and started new lives. Andrea and Lula had babies and Karma became a Wiccan in the woods. Andrea married and started working as a publicist. Lula started a new band and had done fairly well but never really broken. Karma bought a yurt and lived on an old friend’s land in the mountains. Ronny, an old friend, knew where they were and had kept in touch with them. He had also joined a band that had become a huge hit. He and Andrea lived near one another. They would run into each other here and there at the market. Andrea’s husband Kevin was a rock journalist and did an interview with Ronny inviting him to the house. Ronny and Andrea started talking about old times over a bottle of wine after Kevin’s interview was concluded.  Ronny mentioned he had seen Lula’s new band. Andrea feigned disinterest but it was obvious she was wanted to know more about her. “She’s gotten so much better as a player”, said Ronny. “I saw them a couple of months ago in a mid-sized club in Hollywood. They fucking rocked”. Andrea finished off her glass of wine and mad a nasty face. “Is she still a bitch?” Andrea asked refilling her glass. “Well, sort of but isn’t that what you liked about her?” Ronny answered also filling his glass. “I heard she’s fat.” “No fatter than you heifer!” Andrea laughs loudly and chugged more wine.”Fuck you! Why are you telling me all this shit? I don’t care about her or Karma. Fuck’em both.” Ronny laughs “You heard about Karma right?” “Yeah she lives in a yurt and is a witch or some shit.” Ronny shakes his head and smiles. “You don’t know!” “Know what?” “Karma is married!” “Married? She’s a dyke!” “Yeah, well not anymore.” “So what is she now some kind of yurt-wife? Making fertility potions in her cauldron?” “She’s drumming and teaching drums in a small town.” Andrea slugs down some more wine. “I still don’t know why you are telling me all this shit about a bunch of cows I don’t even know anymore.” Ronny pulls out a bag of Bali Shag and rolls a cigarette. “I am starting a record company, I just told Kevin about it in the interview, I am looking to put out a few records.” “Yeah, so why you talking about me and those cows? What do you want us to do want us to get back together?” “Yeah, I do.” “Get the fuck out of my house!” “No shut up and listen! I talked to Lula and she’s into it and Karma isn’t not into it.” “Well I got better things to do than hang with them again. I have a job you know. I’m doing pretty well too!” “Yeah I know and if you don’t want to do it don’t but they might without you.” Andrea lit a cigarette, “Fuck them, I was the lead singer and neither of them can sing for shit.” “Yeah I know that and you know that and I think they know that too. There was mention of using Constance from “The Revenge”. She could do your parts.” “Constance! Fuck her too! You want me to do this I’ll do it just to screw that bitch!” Andrea is now guzzling wine. “If I do this they have to be nice and shut up about the past. I’m not re-hashing all that shit with them again.”

So that’s how it was that “The Minge” got back together.

2

“We’re two mean mothers and one witch bitch” Andrea screamed into the mic as the second song of their set started out fast and loud. It had been a long hard fight to get them there but there they were The Minge were back on stage live. The pit surged toward the stage old fans mixed with kids moving as one. Lula lifted her foot onto the monitor in her take no prisoners’ stance. She played harder than she had in years. She couldn’t help but Smile. Ronny had been right.